"Merry Widow"
Oh, what fun we were there when they fall
We have a reason that's worth marching for
Not for battle or banner or foe
but for girls...
When we're marching
we never retreat for we're charging a foe that is swift.
But when we're caught in a swell of the enemy's girls...
Danilo...
For our country will never make war
We have a reason that's worth marching for
Not for battle or banner or foe
but for girls...
When we're marching
we never retreat for we're charging a foe that is swift.
But when we're caught in the swell of the enemy's girls
then surrender to girls...
You may continue.
Thank you, madam.
Madam.
Pardon me, madam
for trespassing in your estate and intruding in your privacy.
What do you want?
I come to deliver a confidential letter.
This is very important, Madam.
Madam Sonia
if you should ever meet Count Danilo
let me tell you he is terrific.
What is this? Count Danilo? Terrific?
That's what people said.
Danilo? Danilo?
Yes, Count Danilo.
Now, Madam, this is absolutely between you and me.
This Count Danilo is crazy to meet you.
He tried everything. In fact, he's desperate.
I really feel sorry for the man, but you're such a widow.
Pardon me, Madam, what I mean is you live in complete seclusion
and the poor man has no chance to meet you socially.
Well, I'm very sorry.
I never heard of the gentleman and I'm not interested.
Oh, you will be, Madam.
The man is in such a state of man
there is no telling what he may do.
Who is this Count Danilo?
Me.
Who wrote this letter?
I.
I don't understand.
What do you want?
An answer. Yes or... when.
If you don't leave immediately I shall report you to the king.
Oh, please, please.
Let me stay only a little while and you may recommend me
to the queen.
It's hard to believe that an officer of the royal guard...
Dares to approach the richest, most powerful woman in the country...
And behaves like a silly young cadet.
It's an outrage.
Now, don't get excited, please.
I am...
Unjust, that's what you are.
Put yourself in my position.
Imagine you saying all those lovely things to me
and me wearing your mask.
Won't you spend sleepless nights wondering what I look like?
Well, my situation is much worse.
I haven't slept for months.
Then I think it would be very wise
if you leave immediately and go to bed.
And dream about you.
No. No. You're cruel, Madam.
You're torturing me.
Day by day, I've been watching you
when you're riding your carriage in the street.
I come up here every night.
I suppose I'll have to call my servant.
They're all bribed.
Do you know I've been feeding your dogs
with the finest imported salami just to get quite a glimpse of you
and what do I see?
Your lovely little hands,
your dainty little feet and yet the most beautiful thing.
Stop it.
Tell me. You're eyes.
Are they blue or brown?
Are you pretty or beautiful?
Gorgeous.
No. This is no time for joking.
I have been in many situations but this is too much.
There's not a window in Marshovia that I haven't jumped out.
I've got around every kinds of band
but here I'm block. By what?
By your piece of flimsy material.
Oh, please. Have mercy.
Leave the veil between us, Madam.
Be a nice girl.
My dear Count, I'm very sorry
to be the cause of your suffering.
But, no... I...
But unfortunately, we are in Marshovia and I am a widow.
Why don't you throw away this old custom of ours?
And take off my veil.
Yes.
I'd do it in a minute if there is any reason for it
or the slightest temptation, but there isn't.
Maybe you can't see me very well?
Oh, yes. In fact, too well.
I'll admit you're very funny but not terrific.
Not even carousal.
Madam, I want you to understand once and for all.
Our romance is over.
Don't count on it any further.
I've tried to bring the moonlight into your eyes
but you pull down the shade.
Alright. Forget me, if you can.
Go back to your solitude.
Put on your loveliest negligee and wish yourself good night.
And please, don't include me even in your dreams, will you?
Good night.
Well? I'm afraid not again.
Come, Muska.
No more salami.
A night in romance is underlying done,
in vain through my window the moonlight is drawn.
Oh, Viria, oh, Viria, oh, yes, that's my tune.
I love the shepherd who run for the truth.
Viria, oh, Viria, don't leave me alone.
My little, my little love to you.
Viria, oh, Viria.
I'm waiting for love, lonely without thee was I.
Viria, oh, Viria, don't leave me alone.
Love goes to love and my heart is your own.
Viria, oh. Viria, don't leave me alone.
Lonely with only my song. Lonely without thee.
Good night. Good night, madam.
Oh, just a minute, before I forget. Melissa?
Yes, Madam.
Would you ask the secretary to find out
the address of a certain, ah, of a certain, ah,
what's his name? Count Danilo.
Oh, Count Danilo lives in Queen's Avenue.
No. 25, second floor, apartment B
Thank you. Never mind. That's all.
Good night, Madam.
I thought that this day could be the day
when my heart would find your love, your love again.
I thought that this day would be the day
and my heart would learn to dance dance again.
It was all just a fleeting dream.
Men are not, not what they seem.
And this beautiful day only taught me to regret
but tonight will teach me to forget.
I lay await, he's forgetting me.
It was just not meant to be.
And so it is, I must close my book on dreams
and I sealed it with regret and forget.
Madam Menosca. Yes, madam.
My new dress. Yes, madam.
Get everything ready.
We're going to Paris tomorrow, tomorrow morning,
as soon as possible. Yes, madam.
There's a limit to every widow.
The melody of laughter flowed many times that
it flows here many times
Pretty lover, your pearls and your lavender,
soon will enlighten the eye of each cavalier.
Around a lei of roses and glances and he glances like romances
once again I meant to be melody of love in Paris in the spring.
Who is it?
It's your suspenders, your Majesty
Any news, your Majesty.
Conditions are bad. Terrible.
What do you hear?
Well, you see, your Majesty.
After all, we're a sheep and cow country.
Who's complaining now?
The shepherds.
Ah.
I overheard two shepherds in the street yesterday.
What did they say?
Now, tell me...
The opinion of the shepherd on the street,
that's what I want to know.
They say when the richest woman
gets fed up in the country and leaves.
Ah. So they're blaming me for everything.
They're even telling jokes about your Majesty.
Are they funny? That's bad.
If conditions don't improve,
the shepherds are going to organize
They say there's already some talk of black sheep movement.
Were they prominent shepherds?
Couple of East side shepherds.
Intellectuals? Yes.
Let them talk.
Are you staying out late tonight, darling?
You ought to know how it is these cabinet meetings.
Do you think it will last all night?
Now, please don't bother me.
Too enough to have a widow in Paris
to worry about without having a Queen in bed nagging me.
Widow. Widow. That's all I hear.
A king worrying about a widow.
Not a widow. The widow.
The richest widow in the world.
In Europe.
Well, anyhow, she owns more than half of Marshovia.
Do you realize that she is in every cow
in the country for 52 percent?
But you belong to me, don't you, darling?
Read this telegraph from our ambassador in Paris.
Widow sensation in Paris.
Fortune hunters are arriving daily. Marriage in the air.
Unless Marshovia acts quickly,
fear national fortune goes into foreign hands.
I know what to do but am too old to do it.
Darling, how late do you think you'll be denied?
Now, let me pump this into your head.
You and I are living on her taxes.
If she doesn't come back,
if she withdraws her money from the country,
the National Bank will close.
The country goes bankrupt.
There will be a revolution.
Then we'll be trampled from our throne.
Ugly. Something must be done.
Something will be done.
And tonight. This is a secret.
The cabinet figures that we have to meet foreign competition.
Therefore, we're sending a special envoy.
A real man who is not too old.
And knows what to do.
Of course.
The man must be charming, irresistible.
So she falls in love with him.
And he brings her back to Marshovia.
Who are you going to send?
Well, we're considering Count Gabrilovetch.
Gabrilovetch?
Now tell me.
If you weren't married, if you weren't my wife,
could you fall for Gabrilovetch?
If I weren't married,
if I have to do over again and have the choice
between you and Gabrilovetch, frankly, I'll take you.
That shows you how I think of Gabrilovetch.
He's out.
Who else have you got?
Well, there's Gabrilovetch, Jerjosh and Mentroloski.
I'll still take you.
Oh, you'll have to do better than that.
That's what I say, but the Prime Minister,
he depends too much on his wife's judgment.
But I say no politics at a time like this. Let the best man win.
That's what the meeting is for.
I'm expecting a real fight.
Darling, do you think it will take you all night?
And I could have married the sultan's daughter.
Good night, dear.
Please, I beg of you.
Control yourself.
And you, too.
I never shriek, your Majesty.
Walls have ears.
You think your servants hide anything?
Oh. My good name.
Your Majesty, may I make a suggestion?
What is it?
Let's fool them.
Let's make a rich conversation.
Let's pretend to be social.
Right.
I'll take my hat off you, your majesty.
We're having a good time.
Fine. Fine.
That's enough.
Let's not make a big win.
That'll settle the servant problem
Now, let's keep this scandal between you and you and me.
This must be kept out of history.
Not a soul must know.
Nobody. I swear, not a soul.
We were planning not even to tell your majesty, isn't that right?
That's the spirit.
Now listen, you.
Be careful.
A firing squad is too good for you.
Tonight, you'll be taken to the mountains.
First, your ears will be cut off.
I'll attend to you later.
Yes, master.
No. No, Dolores. That's not right
You know well enough that
I have to go down in history as Augment the Great.
And how do you cooperate?
Falling in love with the Captain of the Guard. Oh.
That's hitting below the crown.
You're wrong, Augment.
You're wrong.
I didn't fall in love.
I was defending myself and splendidly,
but you came back too early.
You didn't give me a chance.
If you have return an hour later,
you'd have found him where he belongs, outside the door.
How does he compare with Gabrilovetch?
No comparison, but Gabrilovetch,
Zinchovitch together and what have you?
Gabrilovetch and Zinchovitch, but Danilo, no, no comparison.
Dolores.
Yes, Augment.
With my brains and your contacts, Marshovia can't miss.
Afraid of me?
Ever live in Paris?
Oh, I spent all my holidays there, your majesty.
Oh. So you know Paris.
Do you want some other lass, your majesty?
No. No. I'm a married man.
Are you married?
No, your majesty.
You don't know what you're missing.
Don't I? No, you don't.
Your majesty, may I make a suggestion?
Please.
Let's drop the matter.
Fine. Now listen, my good fellow
You will leave tomorrow for Paris
Oh, thank you, your majesty.
On a secret mission that's right up your boulevard.
Please, your majesty.
How is your French?
Terrific. (French)
Not bad. What does it mean?
Oh, I was just saying something about her majesty the Queen.
Was it nice?
Lovely, isn't she.
Marvelous.
You will leave immediately.
Yes, your majesty.
As soon as you arrive in Paris,
you will report to the Marshovia embassy.
Our ambassador, Baron Bafbaf will tell you the next move.
Your majesty, whatever my mission will be, Marshovia, right or wrong,
I'll never forget your face when you walk into that room.
Did I frighten you?
Oh.
Goodbye, my majesty.
Goodbye, my boy.
What's new?
I overheard two girls on the streetcar.
They were talking about you.
What did they say?
They were telling stories about you.
Were they funny?
Well, they must have been.
You see, I don't understand French but the conductor did,
so he stop the car and throw them out.
That's Paris.
City of girls on their own private.
I'm going to Maxim's.
But aren't you going to report to the embassy, sir.
Tomorrow morning. I'm going to Maxim's.
But, sir.
I'm going to Maxim's, where all the girls are queens.
Each kiss goes on the wine list and mine is quite a fine list.
Lolo, Dodo, Juju, Cloclo, Mango, Crucru.
We promise to be faithful until the night is through.
A melody of laughter, loud and many times,
that is laugh with many times.
My dear, my friend, my lover
and you soon will enrapture the eye of each cavalier.
Yes, ma'am.
I'll be ready in a moment.
Thank you, madam.
Around a lei of roses,
wine and dances, manly glances, sideway glances.
Once again, I will...
Gentlemen?
Yes, madam.
What are your plans for the evening?
We'll go to Cait d'Pate to dine, then to the opera.
We should get there at nine.
Then a late supper at the Grand Hotel.
When it's midnight and all is well,
then we'll dance, if you're willing.
How mad, how wild, how thrilling.
I'm going to Maxim's, where all the girls are queens,
Each kiss goes on the wine list and mine is quite a fine list.
Close the window.
Oh, why don't you...
I'll stay on at Maxim's until the morning beams,
when I am feeling so good be sure I'm out for no good.
Lolo, Dodo, Juju, Cloclo, Mango, Crucru.
Wake your young man, please do. Come on.
Don't spare the horses and drive me to Maxim's.
Where is he going? What did he say?
I think he said Maxim's.
He's going there it seems.
I heard that's where a man can see ladies dance the can-can.
Lolo, Dodo, Juju, or any name will do.
True love is on a thousand and the best one goes to Maxim's.
We can't go to Maxim's.
Not in my wildest dream.
There's nothing shown there and we are too unknown there.
Lolo, Dodo, Juju, Cloclo, Mango, Crucru,
we promise to be faithful until the night is true.
Danilo.
Lulu.
Count Danilo.
Lulu. Please.
Did you say something?
No.
You better not.
Are you looking for trouble?
No Good.
What if I am looking for trouble?
Oh, shut up.
I won't shut up.
Go home, you old fool.
Pig.
Idiot.
Stop. How dare you?
My seconds will call on you, monsieur.
Very well, monsieur.
I wouldn't bother.
Now, listen.
Who is that old goat?
He's some ambassador from, ah...
You understand.
This whole thing is a government secret of the highest importance.
Yes, your Excellency.
Well. Tomorrow night, the embassy
is giving a big reception in her honor.
Does she see well off?
No. No. No. No.
Is she beautiful?
She owns fifty-two percent of Marshovia so she is beautiful.
If you like her or not, you love her.
This is called patriotism.
Have you ever had diplomatic relations with a woman?
Oh, well. Anyhow, these are the plans for tomorrow night.
Before you arrive, she must have a very dull time,
so that you can shine by contrast
Therefore, for the first half hour I will entertain her personally.
After listening to me for 15 minutes,
she will be completely bored.
Then we dance, after five minutes dancing with me,
widow needs fresh air.
Exit to garden.
Now, and now, she gets the big thrill.
I leave her.
She's alone in the garden.
It'll be a moonlight night.
I'll see to that.
I mean, it'll look like it.
And the next thing, you come over the garden wall.
Danilo. Danilo.
How are you? How are you? Oh, fine.
Danilo.
How are you?
Danilo. Danilo. Danny.
Danilo.
Stay here or I'll kill you.
I don't like her.
I once have a wonderful girl.
Girls. Girls. It's good to be back.
Mimi, Gigi, Pipi, Fufu.
Do you still have that frightful chauffeur?
With all the cushions.
Good. Juju, Dodo, Miji,
I gained five pounds.
They're all mine.
And Margo.
Margo with the same sweet dimple.
How's your young lady? Still grouching?
A- ha.
And Gaches, are your garter still blue?
Baby blue.
Do you still cry when you love somebody?
Did you miss me, girls?
Yes.
And I miss you.
All of you, Mimi, Kiki, Fufu.
Oh, it's great to be loved.
Just a minute.
Don't stand in the entrance.
Go over to table fifteen.
Order lots of champagne.
Any Americans here tonight?
I don't know.
Peculiar, ha?
Bother?
Look who's here. Danilo.
There are girls in the wild and its wet.
There's two things that we live to regret.
Let me dance till the restaurant's close.
With the girls, girls, girls, girls, girls.
Where there's wine and women and song.
It is wrong not to do something wrong.
When you do something wrong, you must do something right.
And I'm doing it right tonight.
I say.
Oh, terrific.
Remember, last year?
Do I.
Oh.
Pretty, isn't it?
He gave it to me.
Not bad. Who's she?
She's new here.
What's your name, deary?
Fifi.
Well, Fifi.
Who is he?
Don't you know me? She doesn't know me.
You don't know him?
No.
It's Danilo.
Danilo? Wait a minute.
Aren't you the man who gave me this bracelet?
Oh, listen.
If I gave you the bracelet, you'd remember it.
And besides, he doesn't give any bracelets.
Shall we sit down?
Well, there's not much going on here tonight.
You're Americans. Are you a banker?
No.
I was just in a mood for banker.
You understand, don't you?
Sure. Sure.
I didn't mean to hurt your feeling.
It's alright. Really.
Not bad. Come on.
Sit down. Waiter.
Yes, madam.
Lots of champagne.
Yes, madam.
You're the freshest Fifi I ever met.
I am nice Fifi.
How nice?
Not too nice.
Your right eye says yes and your left eye says no.
Fifi, you're cockeyed.
Quite right.
For instance, at the moment, I'm looking at someone else,
and what's more, let go of my hands.
You're charming, fascinating, delightful.
Stop kicking me.
Stop pinching me. That's better.
Now, you're behaving like a gentleman.
Give me back my shoe.
Girls on my table don't look at other men, you understand?
I'm not your slave.
After all, we're living in 1885.
Shut up.
Constantinople.
Number seven.
Where?
To the private dining room
Oh, no. I never go to private dining rooms.
I don't want to act the lady but...
May I put it down?
Please.
And now, Fifi, if you feel in the mood for banker,
the door is not lock.
What's the matter?
Great man.
His only mistake was he attacked too early.
That's how I lost Waterloo.
Oh, now, listen. I want mine to be kissing.
I want to enjoy sometime,
but this is absolutely demoralizing you.
First, it's the Turk, now it's Napoleon.
Well, I'll give you Napoleon.
You can have him all night,
and see if you can see his head off the second button.
Anything wrong?
Now it's impossible.
I take her upstairs and just when I am about to be nice to her
she stops to talk about another man.
Shame on you.
Why, the girl has no etiquette. Come on.
Would you like to dance?
No.
Not a word. Have I hurt you? Yet I know.
You have not told me, but you hold me for I know.
Words I haven't spoken, yet I know you hear.
Music find your heart's reply I love you, dear.
Danilo.
Yes, Fifi.
Do you love me?
Certainly. Why not?
Oh, you don't understand.
I mean, do you love me?
Forever.
How long is forever with you?
What a funny question?
Has nobody asked you that before?
Oh, not at Maxim's.
You like Maxim's girls best, don't you?
Of course, I do.
Where in the world can you find girls so beautiful, so charming,
who can dance like you, girl, who can smile like you.
Ah, you're wonderful.
And let me tell you something, Fifi. Stay just what you are.
Have you met a society woman?
Never.
Well, you haven't miss a thing.
You don't like ladies?
Yes. Yes, I like them.
They are nice but they take love too seriously.
They can't enjoy it without bothering about tomorrow.
You mean, they're hard to get rid off.
Right. And the silly questions they asked. Do you love me?
And then you have to lie, yes, certainly, of course.
And then they'll ask you again, do you really love me?
No, really...
Oh. Well, may I ask who you are?
Just one of those women who ask silly questions,
and then you have to lie.
Do you still want me to stay?
Oh, I wouldn't let you go for anything in the world.
But, what if I should bother you tomorrow,
what if I should be hard to get rid off?
Darling...
Is that all you can say?
No.
A very clear answer.
No, Fifi.
Fifi. That's all you really want.
That's all women is to you. Your Fifi. You great lover.
Oh, please.
You don't even know what love is.
Please. Please. Don't spoil this evening.
Spoil this evening, oh no, I won't.
You came here to have a great time, didn't you?
Well, you'll have it.
You won't be cheated.
Kiki, Margo, Cloclo, Marsel.
Now, listen.
Girls, the gentleman wants to be entertained.
Here they are.
All your little tonight and not a tomorrow among them.
Goodnight, deary. I deserve your scolding.
I should have known better.
Goodbye to you, Maxim's.
I've got to live in dream.
You give me what a splendid, but now the game has ended.
I give you to Zuzu, Cloclo, Margo Crucru, but I have lost its spirit
I leave Maxim's to you.
I could not believe it all, but that's all widows are given.
And if you're poor ones or the rich ones,
we much more attractive that way.
We are a widow, a merry widow, a merry widow, like as before.
Where is Captain Danilo?
He, ah... Don't lie to me. Where is he?
He left.
He left?
He left.
How long ago?
Yesterday.
You mean he hasn't come back since last night?
Yes, sir.
Oh. Oh. Oh, dear, dear.
What am I going to do with her?
Please, don't kill her.
Forgive her, sir.
I'm sure she can explain everything.
Who?
Your wife, sir.
Who do you think I am?
The husband, aren't you?
I am the Marshovian ambassador.
Oh. Then I must tell the truth.
Yes, what is it?
Captain Danilo left last night and he hasn't come back.
Oh. What will I do?
What will I do?
If you don't mind, sir, I still say forgive her.
I'm not married.
I'm not looking for my wife.
I'm looking for Captain Danilo.
Where is he?
Your Excellency, you may think I'm stubborn,
but he left last night and he hasn't come back.
You find him.
You go to every nightclub, every cafe, every... Here.
Here are some addresses.
If Captain Danilo doesn't appear immediately here in the embassy,
he'll be court marshaled
Oh, yes, your Excellency.
Listen. Don't you lose those addresses.
No, your Excellency.
Captain. Captain. It's me.
Miska, Captain. Miska.
Yes. Your uniform. Uniform.
Uniform for your captain.
Embassy.
Court marshal, captain.
Nice, captain. Nice, captain. Nice, captain.
He won't let me put on his uniform.
Danilo...
No...
Come on, hush.
Hush.
No... I'm not going to make love to that widow.
Can you imagine ordering someone to make love?
That's the army.
I never heard of such a thing
and I've been with the army all my live.
Do you have to marry her, Danilo?
It's a secret.
Don't tell it, Captain.
It's a secret.
If I don't marry her, Marshovia, Marshovia will be bankrupt.
That's a secret, too.
And I'm not going to tell you.
He'll be court marshaled if he did not go.
Fifi. Where are you, Fifi?
If she really loves you, she'll come back,
but she's not a lady.
I once knew a lady who came back twice.
Alright. Alright. I'm not going.
He's going to be shot.
Please tell him to go to the embassy.
No, I won't. I won't.
Maxim's. That's where Fifi is.
I'm going to Maxim's and nothing can stop me.
Yes.
I'm going to Maxim's.
Any news?
No, your Excellency.
Is this him?
No. No. No. Didn't I tell you exactly what he looks like?
Yes, sir.
Oh. Just a moment. Don't...
I'm not going to make love with that widow.
Another a cup of coffee.
I'm perfectly sober. Drink it.
I'm in full possession of all my sanity.
Drink it.
But I'm not going to make love with the widow.
Drink that coffee.
I'm in love with another woman.
Who is she?
I don't know.
Drink that coffee.
No. Drink that coffee.
I'm a soldier. I'm an officer.
My duty is to fight.
I'm willing to die on every battlefield,
but I'm not going to drink another cup of coffee.
In the name of his majesty, King Augment the Second,
Commander-in-Chief of the Army,
High Admiral of the Navy, drink that coffee.
Now, you stay here and face the widow.
And now, we come to the room, madam,
where King Augment say to Queen Dolores
for the first time, the historic words "I love you".
Please, madam.
Well. What a surprise. Captain Danilo.
Well, of all people. How did you get here?
When did you arrive?
Oh, yes, what a coincidence. What a coincidence.
I thought he was in Marshovia. And yes, Captain Danilo.
Madam Sonia, may I present my dearest friend,
none other than Captain Danilo.
What a pleasure, madam.
It is?
It's small, it's afraid.
Meeting you is the greatest good that would happen to me.
Madam, may I ask a favor?
Shall I lift my veil, Captain?
Oh, no, madam. No.
I don't jump over the garden walls anymore.
Since when?
Since yesterday.
I fell in love with a girl madly, but she disappeared.
And you, madam, are the only one in the world
that can help me find her. Her name is Fifi.
Fifi is no more. You killed her.
After she left you last night,
she came home and committed suicide.
She jumped into cold bath, and you'd be surprised, Captain,
what a cold water can do.
Just a moment.
Another telegram to his majesty.
Following his accurate statement of happenings.
Copy word. Introduction performed
Widow accused Danilo of murder
but was willing to lift veil.
Couldn't understand the rest of conversation as both talked
in code, and shhhh...
At the moment, both are standing in the garden door.
If he could only get her into the garden,
he whisper something in her ear.
Apparently, something nice.
She gets very angry in fact, she's furious.
She opens the garden door.
She goes into the garden.
He follows. Victory. Victory. Victory.
I love you, Sonia.
Well, I noticed it last night.
Oh, please. I'm mad about you.
Everybody is.
I've heard it at least a hundred times tonight,
and everybody wants to marry me.
There must be something wonderful about me.
What is it that fascinate all these men?
What can it be?
Is it my charm, or my beauty, or do you suppose it's my position?
You mean, your money?
Yes.
I don't know about the other men, but with me,
it's strictly your money and nothing else.
I believe you.
I knew you would. That's why I said it.
If you have told me last night who you were,
if I had only know that I had in my arms the richest widow, I'll...
What did you come to Maxim's for anyway?
Oh, I see. Just like a man, looking for a thrill.
Goodbye, Captain.
A telegram to his majesty.
Just came out of the strawberry.
Big doings in garden.
Overheard whole scene but could not understand a word
because wind was against me,
and yet...
Telegram, your Excellency.
It's from his majesty.
It's in code.
Zizipoff. Get your Excellency.
The first word is Darling.
What does it mean?
D...
Da... Da... Darling,
I consider you the greatest idiot in the diplomatic service.
What is the next word, your Excellency?
Lilac time.
Azratevitch.
Yes, your Excellency.
Go to my bedroom.
In the cabinet behind his majesty's picture,
there's a little brown bottle of poison.
Throw it away. It's protective measure.
Yes, your Excellency.
Read it again, slowly.
I consider you the greatest idiot in the diplomatic service.
A diplomat who does not know
what is going on under his very roof is unfit
to be under the lower name of Potpot.
It is hard to believe that
you are the son of the great statesman, Potpot.
But, Potpot or no Potpot, I consider you the greatest idiot
in the diplomatic service. Now, listen, Potpot.
Danilo gives secret away to Maxim's girls,
secret all over terrace.
Local Marshovian newspapers read information by telegraph.
Opposition paper will print story tomorrow. Speedo.
Bring forth the marriage or everything lost.
She must be married tonight.
Therefore, act quickly.
Be brilliant, be creative.
Kill umas. Admit nothing.
Deny everything. Avail crisis.
Face fact. Stand fast.
Something lost if we don't do it now.
What are you waiting for. Augment
You still like Maxim's girls?
I love you and only you, darling.
Please believe me.
Danilo.
Ask me anything you want.
All my silly questions?
Yes. About tomorrow, about all the days after tomorrow
Ask me anything, everything.
But please, believe me.
I do believe you because I want to believe you.
Ladies. Ladies and gentlemen.
I have to honor to announce the coming marriage
and the present engagement of the charming Marshovian lady,
Madam Sonia,
and our own Captain Danilo, captain of the royal guard.
It's a love match.
How does he know?
How does anyone know except you and me?
Darling.
Captain Danilo,
would you be good enough to come to his Excellency immediately?
Sonia.
Yes, Danilo?
Would you wait here for me?
Of course.
Your Excellency, how dare you made such an announcement.
How dare you.
Do you know whom you're talking?
To the biggest idiot.
You read the telegram.
What telegram?
Here. Here. Read it. It's unbelievable.
An officer giving away a government secret
to a lot of Maxim's girls. All Paris knows this.
Tomorrow, it'll be in all the papers.
If the widow ever finds out that this is a conspiracy,
that the government sends you here
she'll call off the marriage,
and the next thing she'll take her money out of Marshovia,
then where will we be?
You have to marry her tonight.
Act quickly, be brilliant.
Act quickly, meet crisis, deny everything, stand fast.
Something must be done.
Do it. Do it now. What are you waiting for?
Your Excellency. Shut up.
Sonia, you're crying.
I'm crying because I'm happy.
Why shouldn't I be happy?
Sonia.
Yes, Danilo.
There is something, something I must tell you.
Please. Just a moment.
You love me, don't you?
Yes, I do. I do love you.
You don't have to convince me.
I know it, and the Maxim's girls,
all Paris, the whole world, everybody knows you love me.
And everybody knows why.
Well, Captain, go ahead, I'm waiting.
I love to hear you lie.
Have you nothing to say to me?
Nothing, madam, that you would believe.
Goodbye, Captain.
Congratulations.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I wish to correct a misunderstanding.
The announcement of Madam's engagement
has been made without Madam's knowledge or consent.
I am speaking for Madam Sonia
when I said Madam has never entertained
the slightest thought of such an engagement.
Madam, there is nothing left to be said.
I shall make no attempt to explain.
I know it's all over.
There's only one thing I want to say before I go.
I love you, Fifi.
Now, what do you expect me to do?
Fall in your arms?
Marshovia has elected the right man.
You're brilliant, Captain, too brilliant.
Sorry, Captain.
In the name of your majesty, you're under arrest.
You leave for Marshovia immediately.
Well, gentlemen, shall we dance?
Oh, please, madam.
Open the gate for moment,
for gay time is in Paris and play time
with the man of sincerity,
and he tells you he loves you indefinitely.
What a pretty thing to see, Paris in the spring.
High officer, Captain Danilo.
Widow has lost company.
King denies heart attack. King denies heart attack.
Yes, sir. King denies heart attack.
Widows withdraws many from country.
Keep the change.
Thank you, sir.
What are we going to do?
If the widow doesn't change her mind,
we can close up the country.
Oh, Dolores, Dolores.
Looks like exile to me.
Revolution?
The cannon just announced the opening of the trial.
Thank you, Gabrilovitch.
In the name of His majesty,
I herewith open the trial of the State of Marshovia versus
Captain Danilo.
Would you be good enough
to remove all the livestock in the court room?
Bring in the prisoner.
Bring in the witnesses and exhibits.
In the name of the State,
I accuse Captain Danilo of high treason, failing his duty.
State is going to prove that
this man who lives was always was a madness to Marshovia,
with no respect for the sanctity of home,
not even stopping on garden walls
Exhibit Two.
Now, generals of the jury.
I will prove this Exhibit...
Your honor, I object.
I object this witness being called an Exhibit.
She's an Exhibit.
She's a witness.
She is not. She is.
Objection sustain.
From now on, the prosecution
will refer to Exhibit Number Two as Witness Number One.
Your honor, when I read the charges against Count Danilo,
I realize this case concerns me,
so I came here from Paris.
May I have the opportunity to testify?
The court appreciates your patriotism, Madam.
Please, Madam.
Madam, will you tell the generals of the jury,
in your own charming way,
everything you knew about this case.
As I understand it,
you are charging the defendant for neglecting his duty
and being a traitor to his country
Your honor, you are accusing an innocent man.
He did everything in his power to be true to Marshovia,
and betrayed me.
Don't put him in jail.
Give him a medal, a monument, set him as an example.
A Marshovian patriot who stopped at nothing.
He did do his duty.
He used every strategy, every trick.
He lied, he deceive me,
he played with emotions, romance,
he was willing to break a woman's heart just to proceed
what he is instructed.
Your honor, may I be permitted to cross-examine the witness?
Granted.
Witness is yours.
So I lied to you.
Yes.
I was playing you games.
Nothing else.
When I danced with you,
I was only thinking of your millions.
And when you took me in your arms
I was following instructions.
Yes.
And when I kissed you.
That's was the biggest lie of all
That's all I want to know.
I'm guilty.
Guilty of treason, failing in duty, of everything you want.
But most of all, I'm guilty of being your fool.
Once in my life, I lost both my heart and my head.
Therefore, I should be punished without mercy.
Let my fate be a warning to every men, any man,
who can dance through life with hundreds of women,
and is willing to walk through life with one, should be hanged.
The widow.
Something must have happened to the widow.
What? What? What?
She wants to go to jail because of Captain Danilo.
I think... Quiet.
Racheski, Gabrico.
Yes, your majesty.
My horse.
Yes, your majesty.
Now, are you a friend of the captain, madam?
Not exactly.
A relative?
No.
But you knew him before, didn't you?
Oh, yes.
Well, you wouldn't recognize him now.
He's a changed man.
Did you hear the story about the warden's daughter?
No.
Well, last night, the warden's daughter
brought his supper personally into his cell.
And what happened.
Nothing.
I'm telling you, he's a changed man.
But here we are.
But, he isn't here.
It looks that way.
Don't worry about that.
He always come back.
Just make yourself comfortable.
Danilo.
He's not here.
When do you expect him back?
I don't know.
Well, anyway, tell him
there's a big party going on in the women's ward.
I'm sorry. I was chased by a mouse.
From your estate all the way here to the prison.
What a mouse.
You don't think I came here
To see me? No.
Yes, I came to see you and to leave with you one message.
Tonight, there's a party going on in women's ward. Goodbye.
Your majesty, not even Napoleon could have thought of this.
Thank you.
The plan can't fail.
They can't get out, that's what they're in for.
Now, put ourselves in their place.
We both have a quarrel and now we're locked in.
At first, we don't talk at all,
then I'll tell you what I think of you, and then you tell me
what you think of me.
Oh, no, your majesty. I wouldn't dare.
That's right.
Well anyhow, we're in the cell.
We can't quarrel all night and as time passes,
I begin to realize that after all you're a woman.
And above all, I begin to realize you're a man.
Right. And still more, you're a gorgeous woman.
And as for me,
You're wonderful, your majesty.
Thank you.
That's Marshovia.
The minute you go to party, and people can't get out.
Oh, you're not so innocent.
What? You did the whole thing.
Did what?
You bribed the jailer to lock you here with me.
I have to apologize, you didn't bribe the jailer.
It's a conspiracy.
Against both of us.
They want us to fall for each other.
We are threat.
Oh. But this is terrible.
What are we doing to do?
Oh, now, darling. You can't cry.
I beg your pardon. Let's calm down
Let's keep cool. I have it.
Let's fool them. Let's fall for each other.
That should be easy.
Really? Why should two people who hate each other
Love each other.
Right. Why then? Let's not do it.
We won't.
Let's drink to that.
May our hearts remain as cold as the champagne.
Could be a little bit cooler.
Oh, please.
Any man who can dance through life with a hundred women
And is willing to walk through life with one should be married.
Captain Danilo, do you take...
Yes, certainly.
Of course.
The End
Ripped by: SkyFury